Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Turbo inches forward along the long, dark hallway, looking for the shrine of the four spirits - the four eternal protectors of Bunnlandia. Locked in the dungeon there by Friar Freckles, there's nowhere to go but forward - slowly, timidly, half-hoppity forward. "X marks the spot," said Friar Freckles, and Turbo listens to the echo against the stone cold walls as he repeats this phrase aloud. He follows the wall on his left, turning countless corners, further and further away from the door outta here. A feeling of great sadness starts to fill him, some kind of loss, like there's something missing in his soul. He's filled with visions of Bunnlandia's destruction, the marketplace destroyed, homes trampled, fire everywhere. It surprises him how much he cares about his fellow bunny just then, about his beloved land. He stops to cry. A single, solitary bunny tear falls down his big, dark eye and as it hits the ground the room fills with light. A giant "X" shines above him like the brightest beacon on top of a large, round structure of various woods and colors. And in front of this impressive shrine, stands the statues of three bunnies, united together by a golden rope. But the rope is broken, chewed in half. And there are only three statues, not four. These three statues begin to shake and sizzle, their eyes turn to living diamonds and they turn to look at Turbo.
"We are the four spirits of Bunnlandia. Are you the quester?" they say in eerie unison. Turbo doesn't know what this means, doesn't know how to answer the question. He's not questing anything, he's been locked in. "I said," they say, "we are the four spirits of Bunnlandia. Are you the quester?" He still has no idea how to answer this. He recognizes Honey Bunny. She winks at him, breaking the grand, stately air of the other two. "Just say yes," she whispers to him. "Uh, yes," he replies. "Oh, thank goodness," one of the other statues says, "I thought we were going to be at this all day; time is money." "He's strong, scrappy, too, but not so bright is he?" says the other. "He's sweet," says Honey Bunny, winking at him again. They continue in their eerie unison, "We are the four spirits of Bunnlandia. Honey Bunny, Money Bunny, Funny Bunny. We ensure Bunnlandia has love, trade, and humor, all things required for our land."
"But that's only three," says Turbo. "Obviously one of us is missing," they reply in a sarcastic, but religiousy way. "Sunny Bunny has been taken from us; sadness and hopelesness will come over Bunnlandia like a diseased and rotten plague. You must return her to us. Someone comes to take advantage of this weakness. It will destroy us all." Turbo asks, "But who took her? Where is she?" The three statues look at each other, puzzled by such a question. "Well that's for you to find out, isn't it? We can't do everything," they reply. The statues turn to rock again, and the shrine goes dark. That feeling of sadness returns, along with the darkness.
Monday, April 12, 2010
Meanwhile, back at the temple, Friar Freckles rushes Turbo down a flight of stairs, the door to which is hidden underneath a pile of hay. Turbo has many questions, things like, "Friar, why are you bald? Why does this place smell overused litter?" But Friar Freckles is impatient and says, "we have no time for that. You must do something for me now, quickly. It has been foretold that you can find the secret shrine hidden underneath the temple - only one bunny in all of Bunnlandia can see it. The spirit Honey Bunny appeared to me in a dream just last night and said it would be you. That you would knock on my door. And here you are." Turbo interrupts, "Honey Bunny? Why I just saw her, she just got me out of prison. How does she do that floating thing?" Friar Freckles seems miffed, "she appeared to you? In person? Just like that? In prison? Wow, the spirits are really scraping the bottom of the Carrota barrel these days, aren't they? Look, I don't know why, but it's you. So just listen up."
They reach the bottom of the long, winding staircase, and come into a giant room made of white, painted wood. It's dark, the only light coming from the open door above them, and it smells of rancid lettuce. "The shrine of the four spirits is hidden from view at the end of that long dark hallway ahead of you. We have had no need to seek it for centuries, but the legend says that in every generation, only one bunny can see it, let alone find it. It contains the power of the three spirits of Bunnlandia who keep our land safe and protected. If something has happened, if something is wrong with Bunnlandia, the shrine will show it to you. You must find it, Turbo. There has to be some reason that this darkness, this evil tower, has entered our land. Something is wrong. Now, go. I don't know what it looks like or how you'll find it, the old legends say that it's round and apparently X marks the spot. Return to me when you've found it."
"But, it's dark in there," he says, inching slowly forward to see if there's any light in the hallway ahead. There's not. "No, I'm not going in there." He turns around to look at Friar Freckles, but the bald, freckly friar is gone. There's a thud above as the entrance to the staircase is shut and locked, leaving Turbo in complete darkness. How is even supposed to see the X? Is this just another prison? Has Turbo been fooled again? He scratches his head and thinks about what he should do next.
Sunday, April 4, 2010
His master, The Grimalkin - self-proclaimed Queen-Elect of Bunnlandia, is hungry. And Floppy Puff Puff is bound to do her bidding. She wants one of the tower-workers for lunch. With great effort and wobbly legs, he uses the sound of the hammer to guide him, unable to see through the haze of fur that covers his eyes. Bunnlandia is doomed. Everybunny's fate lies in the stomach of the great beast. And it's all his fault.
Some time ago, Floppy Puff Puff was banished to the dark forest where nobunny dares ever go. He had run head on into King Niblet, unable to see where he was going, and upsetting the King is a great offense immediately punished by banishment. He apologized profusely, but it was of no use. Niblet is a sensitive king and easily sent into a tither. Floppy Puff Puff roamed the woods blindly for more than a month, using his keen sense of smell to search for food and burrowing under piles of leaves for safety. Then one day, he met her - The Grimalkin. He heard her roar and he bolted - right into her giant, lead-like foot. She spoke to him loudly, asked who he was, where he came from, and as she roared at him, his hair blew back and he was able to see her - a giantess with sharp fangs and ears that mesmerized, and the strong, intoxicating smell of cheerios all around her. He felt something come over him, and he told her everything. He was terrified. She promised not to eat him if he would take her and her daughter to his land. He explained he was banished and could not return. "I'll take care of everything, fluffy one, just lead me." For some reason, he couldn't say no to her, and it was sure death if he did. He used his nose and they were there in less than two days. The rest is a painful blur to him.
And now he finds himself leading one of his fellow-bunnies down to her, where her teeth await him, cruel payment for his hardwork on her behalf. He listens at the door. There's a gulp and a smack, and that bunny is done. This is all his fault.